he likes me!

i couldn’t help but giggle to myself as i set a bowl of water for hand-washing, a dish towel (to be used as a napkin), and a large bowl of rice in the middle of our living room floor. we were having our neighbor over for lunch, and i wanted him to feel “at home” with us. i told dan afterwards that i felt like a rockstar when our guest helped himself to seconds with lots of flattering words for the cook (yours truly). i knew he would be polite, but his insistence that he enjoyed the food and was thankful to eat it made my heart sing. i hadn’t realized how important his approval of my cooking would be.

i think it’s the human condition to seek the approval of other people, and to wonder if we’re meeting the expectations of those around us. when i was little, i wanted my parents to be proud of my report card or my memory verses. when i was a teenager, i wanted my older sister and her friends to think i was cool enough to hang out with them. when i was in college, i hoped my leaders and teachers would call me their friend as well. and now, as an outsider in a community of insiders, i’m desperate to know that my neighbors accept me and approve of me, even if they don’t understand me.

a few days ago, i listened to this sermon and was challenged to re-think my understanding of how God sees me. “we usually have no problem believing that God loves us, but most of us don’t really believe that God likes us.” so often i believe the lie that what God wants is for me to just do what i’m supposed to do and get out of his face. and since i rarely feel like i’m doing what i’m supposed to be doing, i avoid him for fear of his disapproval and disappointment. but God is not disappointed! he wants to spend time with me. he LIKES me. he approves of me, and not because i get good grades or can cook a decent meal, but because i am his child. how refreshing and freeing (albeit difficult) to remember and rest in the approval of my heavenly Father!